Life, as it were

Right now... I hate my life.

My marriage ended on the sixth. This after about two or three weeks of staying with my (now) ex and mother in law.

We'd talked about this for a while. And I'd have been more than happy to stay friends with her - but the moment I walked in the door, I got nothing but dirty looks and attitude from her.

Now, if I had been out sleeping around on her, I'd understand. (Hell, she probably would have, too... we haven't exactly had a physically close marriage - or emotionally, forthat matter - in quite some time.) But I was always faithful to her. I'd lost jobs over trying to care for her, being concerned for her.

I'd done nothing to warrant that attitude... but I got it.

A week and a half later, after thedivorce (March 6 for that - 8 if you want the official paperwork-signed date) she had a seizure. I slept through it - I was on the second floor, she and I weren't sleeping together - haven't for a long time. I came down the next morning, she wasn't in bed, I made breakfast for myself, assumingshe was in the bathroom or womething. Her mom said NOTHING. A few hours later, I came down again - still not there. "What happened to her?" "She's in the hospital." Well thanks a fucking lot for telling me that BEFORE.

Doesn't matter that the house has no real heat. Or is drafty as hell. Or that the weather was changing. No, obviously my staying up and out of the way, going looking for work, etc. was stressingher... and caused the seizure.

So I got kicked out of the house. With about two hours notice. Slept in the truck one night, got my unemployment check and drove, panicked, to Wisconsin to be with my family... where I'm given two weeks to find a job and apartment...

I have a friend elsewhere - someone I've known online for a year plus - offering his apartment (wanting to split rent) and lining up a job... and my family's telling me not to go. Yet sittinghere, I'm nothing but reminded of how big a failure I am...