Anniversaries

Two days ago was my ex's birthday. Emailed her a week before - as I don't really trust myself to talk to her, or, honestly, just trust her. Haven't heard a thing.

Somehow, this doesn't really bother me, given my thoughts, when turned to her, are either those of feeling used or downright angry.

And in less than a month - March 6, to be honest - is the second anniversary of my emancipation.

Heck of a thing to call a divorce, hmm? Yes, I celebrate the day we signed the papers, even though life went to hell shortly after, and I found myself driving cross country to the barely-open arms of my brother - not, in hindsight, that I could blame them. I had, for her, burned bridges... two weeks after that, I left, to live with a friend for a few months, then move back in with my mom to help get me on my feet.

I'm getting there. I still feel adrift, somewhat - I can't say I'm of my job, but it's a job, and if I don't think of where I could have been, it's... tolerable. Still not where I want to be, but it's there, and letting me collect bits of myself back.

Meanwhile... I turn to ME. I'm still rediscovering who I am - quiet and somewhat of a loner that I am, never satisfied and always curious. Soon, I'll have to find a focus for that building energy.